Has the Holy Spirit quickened your heart with the thought of marriage: What is it….how does one achieve it?
Do you find it strange that the Christian Institutions never address this issue? Marriage is the second most important decision a man or woman makes in their lifetime. Why do they trust ‘tradition’? Why don’t they seek the Lord’s desire?
Well…. the fellowship of men in Corinth wondered. Paul in his epistle to the Corinthians writes — “Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me:”
Paul then proceeds and discusses the issue of marriage. Verse 10 Paul speaks to the married. Paul shifts his focus at verse 25 and addresses Virgins. He writes — “Now concerning virgins.”
At verse 34 Paul says something seemingly lost in today’s society, he writes — “There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord….but she who is married cares about the things of the world; how she may please her husband.”
Wow….I certainly do not recall any pastor of mine rightly dividing the Word of God here!
‘A wife and a virgin’. ‘The unmarried…‘ Who is the unmarried? Answer: the virgin.
Unmarried = Virgin.
Now, in verse 39 Paul writes — “A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes.”
This utterance is just a confirmation of Romans 7:2-3 and also Jesus’ own words in Matthew.
Jesus says, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery, and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”
Why? Because the marriage bond is a permanent bond that is only dissolvable but by death. “What God hath joined together, let not man separate.”
What about that exception? Simple really. The Word of God gives us the perfect example in Joseph and Mary.
Joseph and Mary were legally betrothed. Mary was Joseph’s property. The Israelites were instructed that if the betrothed woman is not found to be a Virgin, the marriage is null and void. When Israel was a homogeneous unit, the woman was stoned to death. During the time of Jesus, it seems a certificate of divorce was a more civil option. Joseph, being a righteous man, sought to put away Mary privately.
The instruction of marriage is actually very easy to understand. The Scriptures are thorough in this regard. One just has to love the Lord with all of their heart in order to accept it. Jesus understood this — Matthew 19:11
Scripture clearly reveals: Sexual Intercourse is the vehicle by which two flesh become one. When a virgin girl has sexual intercourse with a man, she becomes ‘known’ by that man. She is ‘joined’ to the man as One Flesh. Society SHOULD recognize them ‘man and wife’. Society’s failure to understand them ‘man and wife’ is not the fault of God’s natural law.
Jacob and Rachel is a good example here. Jacob contracted for Rachel. The “feast” was for Rachel. Leah ended up Jacob’s wife the following morning because he had sex with her. Rachel was not yet Jacob’s wife, even though Jacob and Laban made a contract.
Joseph and Mary is another good example: “After Mary was betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child.”
Here we have an example of Society defining marriage. It is understood that Joseph’s family contracted with Mary’s family and it was decided that Mary would be Joseph’s wife. It was very likely that Mary, during this betrothal period, was considered Joseph’s wife. She was his. She was Joseph’s property in that he had legal authority over Mary contracted by both families. We know this because Joseph sought a divorce. What would he need a ‘writ of divorce’ for if he wasn’t married according to “tradition“?
Joseph was ‘civilly’ married i.e. tradition of man. But he was not yet joined as one flesh — which is a heavenly marriage. Sex creates either a righteous union; or an unrighteous union.
Sex with a virgin woman = righteous union.
Sex with a married* woman = unrighteous union. *a woman joined/known by a man.
Dinah and Shechem is yet another example. Shechem and Dinah joined to one another as one flesh. Dinah was ‘known’ by Shechem. Dinah was ‘joined’ to Shechem. But yet Dinah’s family did not recognize them ‘man and wife’ from a cultural or societal acceptance — Jacob’s tradition. But they understood Dinah was now “defiled”. Defiled meant that Dinah could not ever be with another man and it be righteous. So ‘death’ followed. Not surprisingly, ‘death’ often follows sex when it doesn’t fit society’s definition of marriage. David was King of Israel. Surely if he desired Bathsheba for a wife, he simply could have demanded it. Uriah had to die.
In Summary: Sex is the vehicle by which two flesh becomes one. Sexual Intercourse is the ‘marriage’ of two flesh into one.
Only virgin girls and widowed women can take a husband.
Why did Paul not remind the Corinthians of the proper procedures for a valid wedding? Remind them to get permission from the father. Remind them to get down on one knee and propose. Remind them that the woman must say “I do” before the ring goes on the finger. Remind them of the importance of “witnesses”. How many ‘witnesses’ are required? Remind them that both the man and the woman must say “I do” in order for a woman to be then bound by the law — Romans 7:2-3.
Why did not Paul review the proper procedures for a valid wedding? Answer: Because there are NONE! Don’t confuse ‘tradition’ with Scriptural Authority, or Natural Law.
Lastly…………..for all the scoffers who say marriage is one of “Intent of the Heart”…………PROVE IT!!!
Where are the procedures? Where are the instructions for a proper marriage ceremony?
“Marriage is a Covenant” you say. Ok. Define the Covenant. What are the procedures for that Covenant?
Here is the cold hard truth: When a girl opens her legs and receives the man, she has just volunteered to be ‘one flesh’ with that man. She is now joined to the man, whether she believes herself to be married or not. The girl or man not being aware that they are now ‘married as one flesh’ is not the fault of God or His Word!
I have yet to find one Evangelical Christian who would say that a woman is married following vows. They ALWAYS admit that the marriage is only a marriage after they consummate the ceremony – have sex. It is the sex that ultimately joins the couple, they say.
But yet they don’t even flinch to consider a woman who is already joined to a man (not a virgin), eligible to be married to a different man.
They say, “A woman is joined by sex. But a woman is not married by sex. Unless the ‘I do’ comes first”.
Sex before “I do” — no marriage (although the couple are now one flesh)
Sex after “I do” — marriage.
This is all so convoluted. The perfect example of deception. 2 Tim 4:3.
Please Read — BIBLICAL MARRIAGE and The Erroneous Marriage Covenant by Edward Ridenour
When the church attempts to define Biblical marriage, an ill-perceived and ill-conceived concept is attached to it that is consistently and erroneously advocated by the church. That concept is the so-called “marriage covenant” (vows stated by the couple at their wedding), which is valid only by the presence of human witnesses. This farcical concept extolled by the church as a requirement for the existence and validation of a God approved marriage is preposterous and absolutely unbiblical…..