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Has the Holy Spirit quickened your heart with the thought of marriage:  What is it….how does one achieve it?

Do you find it strange that the Christian Institutions never address this issue?  Marriage is the second most important decision a man or woman makes in their lifetime.  Why do they trust ‘tradition’?  Why don’t they seek the Lord’s desire?

 

Well…. the fellowship of men in Corinth wondered.  Paul in his epistle to the Corinthians writes — “Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me:”

Paul then proceeds and discusses the issue of marriage.  Verse 10 Paul speaks to the married.  Paul shifts his focus at verse 25 and addresses Virgins.  He writes — “Now concerning virgins.” 

At verse 34 Paul says something seemingly lost in today’s society, he writes — “There is a difference between a wife and a virgin.  The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord….but she who is married cares about the things of the world; how she may please her husband.” 

Wow….I certainly do not recall any pastor of mine rightly dividing the Word of God here!

‘A wife and a virgin’.  ‘The unmarried…‘  Who is the unmarried?  Answer: the virgin.

Unmarried = Virgin.

Now, in verse 39 Paul writes — “A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes.” 

This utterance is just a confirmation of Romans 7:2-3 and also Jesus’ own words in Matthew.

 

Jesus says, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery, and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

Why?  Because the marriage bond is a permanent bond that is only dissolvable but by death.  “What God hath joined together, let not man separate.” 

What about that exception?  Simple really.  The Word of God gives us the perfect example in Joseph and Mary.

Joseph and Mary were legally betrothed.  Mary was Joseph’s property.  The Israelites were instructed that if the betrothed woman is not found to be a Virgin, the marriage is null and void.  When Israel was a homogeneous unit, the woman was stoned to death.  During the time of Jesus, it seems a certificate of divorce was a more civil option.  Joseph, being a righteous man, sought to put away Mary privately.

 

The instruction of marriage is actually very easy to understand.  The Scriptures are thorough in this regard.  One just has to love the Lord with all of their heart in order to accept it.  Jesus understood this — Matthew 19:11

Scripture clearly reveals: Sexual Intercourse is the vehicle by which two flesh become one. When a virgin girl has sexual intercourse with a man, she becomes ‘known’ by that man. She is ‘joined’ to the man as One Flesh. Society SHOULD recognize them ‘man and wife’. Society’s failure to understand them ‘man and wife’ is not the fault of God’s natural law.

Jacob and Rachel is a good example here. Jacob contracted for Rachel. The “feast” was for Rachel. Leah ended up Jacob’s wife the following morning because he had sex with her. Rachel was not yet Jacob’s wife, even though Jacob and Laban made a contract.

Joseph and Mary is another good example: “After Mary was betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child.”

Here we have an example of Society defining marriage. It is understood that Joseph’s family contracted with Mary’s family and it was decided that Mary would be Joseph’s wife. It was very likely that Mary, during this betrothal period, was considered Joseph’s wife. She was his. She was Joseph’s property in that he had legal authority over Mary contracted by both families. We know this because Joseph sought a divorce. What would he need a ‘writ of divorce’ for if he wasn’t married according to “tradition“?

Joseph was ‘civilly’ married i.e. tradition of man. But he was not yet joined as one flesh — which is a heavenly marriage. Sex creates either a righteous union; or an unrighteous union.

Sex with a virgin woman = righteous union.
Sex with a married* woman = unrighteous union. *a woman joined/known by a man.

Dinah and Shechem is yet another example. Shechem and Dinah joined to one another as one flesh. Dinah was ‘known’ by Shechem. Dinah was ‘joined’ to Shechem. But yet Dinah’s family did not recognize them ‘man and wife’ from a cultural or societal acceptance — Jacob’s tradition. But they understood Dinah was now “defiled”. Defiled meant that Dinah could not ever be with another man and it be righteous. So ‘death’ followed. Not surprisingly, ‘death’ often follows sex when it doesn’t fit society’s definition of marriage. David was King of Israel. Surely if he desired Bathsheba for a wife, he simply could have demanded it. Uriah had to die.

In Summary: Sex is the vehicle by which two flesh becomes one.  Sexual Intercourse is the ‘marriage’ of two flesh into one.

Only virgin girls and widowed women can take a husband.

Why did Paul not remind the Corinthians of the proper procedures for a valid wedding?  Remind them to get permission from the father.  Remind them to get down on one knee and propose.  Remind them that the woman must say “I do” before the ring goes on the finger.  Remind them of the importance of “witnesses”.  How many ‘witnesses’ are required?  Remind them that both the man and the woman must say “I do” in order for a woman to be then bound by the law — Romans 7:2-3.

Why did not Paul review the proper procedures for a valid wedding?  Answer:  Because there are NONE!  Don’t confuse ‘tradition’ with Scriptural Authority, or Natural Law.

 

 

Lastly…………..for all the scoffers who say marriage is one of “Intent of the Heart”…………PROVE IT!!!

 

Where are the procedures?  Where are the instructions for a proper marriage ceremony?

“Marriage is a Covenant” you say.  Ok.  Define the Covenant.  What are the procedures for that Covenant?

 

Here is the cold hard truth:  When a girl opens her legs and receives the man, she has just volunteered to be ‘one flesh’ with that man.  She is now joined to the man, whether she believes herself to be married or not.  The girl or man not being aware that they are now ‘married as one flesh’ is not the fault of God or His Word!

 

I have yet to find one Evangelical Christian who would say that a woman is married following vows.  They ALWAYS admit that the marriage is only a marriage after they consummate the ceremony – have sex.  It is the sex that ultimately joins the couple, they say.

But yet they don’t even flinch to consider a woman who is already joined to a man (not a virgin), eligible to be married to a different man.

They say, “A woman is joined by sex.  But a woman is not married by sex.  Unless the ‘I do’ comes first”.

Sex before “I do” — no marriage (although the couple are now one flesh)

Sex after “I do” — marriage.

 

This is all so convoluted.  The perfect example of deception.  2 Tim 4:3.

 

 

Please Read — BIBLICAL MARRIAGE and The Erroneous Marriage Covenant by Edward Ridenour

Sample:

When the church attempts to define Biblical marriage, an ill-perceived and ill-conceived concept is attached to it that is consistently and erroneously advocated by the church. That concept is the so-called “marriage covenant” (vows stated by the couple at their wedding), which is valid only by the presence of human witnesses. This farcical concept extolled by the church as a requirement for the existence and validation of a God approved marriage is preposterous and absolutely unbiblical…..

 

http://m.blogs.christianpost.com/marriage/biblical-marriage-and-the-erroneous-marriage-covenant-24331/

 

 

 

 

 

 

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9 Responses to About

  1. Laura says:

    I read all of the posts on this website. Blessing to you. HalleluYahweh.

  2. Sam says:

    And as you requested, I voted in your polls. Or at least in 2 of them. There are 3 polls total, right? In first one, I voted that as long as a previous spouse is still alive, any “remarriage” is adultery. And in the one about sex creating a marital union, I voted “Other” and wrote in “Not Sure.” In the third poll about the virgins, I didn’t vote because there wasn’t an “Other” option, and I’m not honestly not sure about the matter at this point.

    Anyway, I hope that my feedback has been helpful to you. 🙂

    • jeffdave says:

      Greetings Sam. First, I have the utmost respect for you. I get around 25 visitors a week. I would say I get on average of ONE comment per 500 visitors. I should write a Post as to “why” for this phenomena. But I believe simply “Tolerance” has destroyed the Church. Self identifying Christians believe tolerance is a Christian virtue; when the opposite is the truth.

      Anyway……..I will read the article you included. I’m certainly not surprised as I have heard pastors and teachers use the “one flesh” terminology to describe the ‘relationship’ between husband and wife when Scripture CLEARLY defines ‘one flesh’ as the result of Sexual Intercourse, and sexual intercourse only.

      Polls — So you and I are in agreement that a woman married is joined for the life of the husband. This is good! We have a place to start; to work from. I would encourage you to meditate on that reality. “What” joins a woman to a man in that only DEATH severs the union??? Meditate on that reality. What is it about the union that only death can sever it?

      You then wrote — “the one about sex creating a marital union”. Interesting, because I did not say “marital union”. Don’t take this the wrong way; but I believe you too have a form of ‘programming’ if you will based on the media: arts and entertainment etc. I didn’t say anything about ‘marital’ union. I asked if the non-virgin girl is “joined” to a man as one flesh. Where did this word “marriage” originate in the first place? Why do we automatically assume “to marry” has to refer to marriage between a man and a woman. This would have to be a study of Etymology. But I hear Chefs use the word constantly. They use the word to describe “to mix”. To ‘marry’ two ingredients together. So let me ask the question directly — Is a non-virgin woman ‘joined’ to a man as one flesh? Yes or No. Or is ‘one flesh’ only temporary.

      I would encourage you to go back to the Polls and re-read the Polls and their Answers. I think it is enlightening that you find them confusing; or maybe not confusing, but would rather answer “other”. Re-read the Polls and seriously meditate on their implications.

      I hope you write back. Sincerely.

      Please consider/answer: Is a non-virgin girl ‘joined’ to a man as one flesh?

      Does Sex create the One Flesh union. Yes or No.

      • jeffdave says:

        (Sam——-this comment is a general comment. Not necessarily directed to you. Just me arguing my pov)

        “… The thing is, with that sin you are not taking another’s wife or husband. You are having unlawful relations with another single person who has not yet vowed themselves in marriage to another. God takes marriage vows very seriously as He is the one who joins two in marriage as one—–and He is the one in the Word of God who states the guidelines of marriage.

        Above is an excerpt from the website cited by Sam. There is a TON of information to sort through. But the jest of the site is that marriage is one of vows/intent. They would have to admit that a girl could have 100 lovers and as long as she doesn’t say “I do”, she could have a husband. However….the virgin girl who says “I do” at the alter, only to discover that her now paper husband is a fraud and she wants no part of him…………this girl is now bound for the duration of the man’s life. Although she is still a virgin, she is now bound to this man for the remainder of his life simply because she said, “I do”. Ridiculous. But yet the girl with whom had 100 lovers……this girl can have a husband because she never said “I do”. If one buys this; you deserve your fate.

        God takes marriage vows very seriously as He is the one who joins two in marriage as one—–and He is the one in the Word of God who states the guidelines of marriage.

        That’s funny on the face of it because God takes Vows so seriously that Jesus Himself said not to make them! Let me repeat that……………….Jesus said, “don’t take oaths”. Let your ‘yes’ be yes and your ‘no’ be no. Nothing formal required. But yet this website says God takes vows seriously…implying some kind of ‘formal’ setting. Ok…….where are the procedures for the proper vows? What is required? Do you absolutely have to have a witness? Do you absolutely have to have parental approval? WHERE ARE THE PROPER PROCEDURES???

        In my youth, I made love to several women and with each woman, we both promised to love each other for the rest of our lives in the act of love making. Forget the act of love making…..we promised to love one another FOREVER during the course of our relationship. So why weren’t we “married” by God? Rhetorical. Or maybe God did recognize our “intent”. How would we know??? Surely the Bible isn’t this confusing. What are the proper procedures to getting married. THIS…..these people can never answer. And if they try, it is always different from the next persons version. “God who states the guidelines of marriage………..Ok, where are those guidelines???

        How about other Cultures/Traditions? Native American Indians thought themselves husband and wife because they had sex. Western Civilization is about the only Culture that places “Ceremony” in front of sexual intercourse. So what about men and women down through history who viewed themselves married because they share a child together? Are they not married in God’s eyes??? So many questions/so much speculation………….it is literally “madness” to go down this road.

        I can teach Biblical marriage in less than 200 words. All of these websites just confuse the issue and have to write page after page after page to explain their positions.

        Simple — Sexual Intercourse is the vehicle by which a man and a woman become joined as One Flesh. When a virgin girl has sex with a man, she is now ‘known’ by that man. Society SHOULD recognize them as husband and wife. Society’s FAILURE to recognize them husband and wife is NOT THE FAULT OF THE SCRIPTURES.

        A non-virgin woman is joined to a man. She is ‘known’ by that man. Any sex with this woman from someone other than her first lover is simply Adultery. Call it fornication if you will. It does not matter. The woman is defiled. Take this rubric and apply it to EVERY passage of scripture pertaining to sex and marriage and it fits.

        Approximately 100 words.

        I should add……………Genesis wasn’t penned for what, a hundred or more years (who would even know) following the story of Adam and Eve. So…….how did the first Adamites marry if they didn’t have anything written down to follow? Are you going to tell me that all of those descendents of Adam and Eve properly married by way of Ceremony??? Give me a break! They had sex………….period! And usually a child followed. The child was PROOF that they were joined as one. This is just simple common sense. These — married by vow — people are just self deluded. Crazy actually. But my family calls me the crazy one. These people have failed to “take up the cross”. Deny self.

        One more point — it is said that Cain left and took a wife from a totally different community/society/civilization. First question — Where did Cain get his wife if Adam and Eve were the first people on the planet???

        Second — are you to tell me that Cain met his wife from a different Culture and that Culture knew God’s design for a proper marriage ceremony? Give me a break. Cain and his new wife knew the formalities? Cain’s wife’s culture knew God’s instructions for marriage? Meditate on that!

      • Sam says:

        Thanks for your comments, jeffdave. I haven’t thought about a lot of these things before in detail, so I need to re-read a lot of you wrote and try to digest it. That may take some time. 🙂

        “Please consider/answer: Is a non-virgin girl ‘joined’ to a man as one flesh?
        Does Sex create the One Flesh union. Yes or No.”

        Concerning your questions, as I said, I’m still trying to figure out some of these things for myself. One thing that I would like to know is how the Early Church fathers (i.e., in the first few centuries A.D.) interpreted the whole matter. I think that would be very telling. I do know that they did not allow for divorce and remarriage. That is, in their view, marriage was for life.

      • jeffdave says:

        Hi Sam. Take your time for sure. Especially if you have a wife, or are considering having a wife in the near future. In regards to the Early Church Fathers…………..I too had the same interest in the beginning of my own search. I can tell you that you won’t find hardly anything. This may sound conspiratorial, but I did find a few pieces of information back in 2004 but now they have all been scrubbed. I found a very early Catholic homily describing the necessity of virginity. But I can no longer find that piece of information. Had I had the forethought, I would have photocopied those sources early on. I also found somewhere a book or manuscript of an early Jewish teaching/tradition of Betrothal. In this teaching of betrothal, they said the tradition of betrothal was a 9 month period. 9 months because this is the time for a woman who has conceived a child to give birth. Thus fulfilling the Mosaic law of Deuteronomy 22:13. This doesn’t prove anything; but it does shed some light on to the tradition of betrothal which Paul spoke to also. For I have betrothed you to one husband, to present a pure virgin to Christ. 2 Corinthians 11:2.

        It is my belief that apostasy in the church happened during the time of the Apostles. Not only did Jesus warn of this phenomena, but also too His disciples. This teaching of the necessity of virginity in marriage is not popular. I know of only a handful of men and women who have been given this truth. Matthew 19:11.

        This is probably the most important thing I can say — Take this Rubric and apply it to every passage of Scripture pertaining to sex and marriage.

        Rubric: when a virgin girl has sex, she is now ‘known’ by the man. She is joined to the man as one flesh. Society should recognize them man and wife. Society’s failure to recognize them man and wife is not the fault of the Scriptures. A non-virgin woman who does not reside with her husband is “defiled”. She is ineligible to be married to any other man, other than her first lover (husband). Only death will sever this ‘one flesh’ union. Take this rubric and apply it to every passage of scripture pertaining to sex and marriage and it explains the passage with clarity.

        One question which has never been answered by my critics is “Why” did Tamar rip her robe of virginity? If virginity is not a requirement, why was Tamar so distraught?

        Paul, writing to the Corinthians regarding marriage spoke to 3 groups of people: the married; Virgins; and widows. Why widows? Because widows are the recipient of “death” severing the one flesh union. Why single out Widows? If virginity and death are insignificant, why single out Widows?

        May God bless you with a Spirit open to His truth and righteousness. Peace.

  3. Sam says:

    Hi, jeffdave. Thanks for the helpful additional information that you posted. It’s interesting that it’s so hard to find info about how the Early Church fathers viewed this matter. …………..

    • jeffdave says:

      Sam,

      How was my site helpful to you? Based on your reply, I perceive that you have not read my site in it’s entirety. As well as the comments; as they are also important. Or if you did, you did not seriously take the issues that I have raised and provided a logical explanation. It seems you merely copied and pasted what others have said on this matter. The most glaring example is in the use of the word “marriage” or “married” which you did not take into consideration.

      I would enjoy very much to have a ‘conversation’ with you. What I don’t want, is to be preached to on my own site. I have been defending my position for over 10 years. Your cut and paste is nothing I haven’t encountered. You offered no “New” revelation.

      What would I gain for the position in which I have taken? If it was as easy as your latest offering, why would I want to continue to hold to the position that I have taken? I have lost friends, family and a church in this process. I take NO delight in the stance in which I stand.

      I have a question for you — Is the Non-Virgin girl/woman “joined” to a man as One Flesh? Yes or No. It is one or the other. Then, considering this revelation, what is the difference between ‘sex with a harlot’ and ‘sex with a non-virgin woman’ physically speaking? Paul calls sex with a harlot a sin against the body. This sin is DIFFERENT from all other sin. Therefore, this sin must be an actual sin against the flesh and blood — the actual body of man. Not sin in the abstract; or sin of the conscience. This is an actual violation of the flesh.

      If you are willing to have a conversation with me, I will make public the rest of your reply/comment. You answer my question; I will answer yours.

      If you choose not to come back, please consider the following very carefully —

      You and I agree that a wife is bound to her husband for the life of the husband. Only DEATH severs the bond.

      Meditate on “Death”. Why “Death”? Because of a Vow? Or because of the reality that the husband and wife are actually a part of one another. Not just some fiction. But rather the two are actually one in a physical sense. The Child is proof of this physical union. The woman takes upon herself the DNA of the man through ejaculation (DNA).

      If “vow”…………why can’t a better vow override the first? Or a “sorry” I didn’t mean it.

      Sincerely.

  4. jeffdave says:

    Here is one “rebuttal” Sam offered in his last comment —

    1) In Matt. 1:20, an angel says to Joseph, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.” If sex alone determined marriage, then Mary, a virgin, could never have been considered Joseph’s wife at that point.

    Now, I have already discussed at length the story of Mary and Joseph. This is just one example of why I believe you (Sam) did not give the information on this site the time, nor the consideration it deserves. But I will take this opportunity to discuss it again and have it isolated as its own conversation.

    My first observation — WHY DID JOSEPH SEEK A DIVORCE!??? No one will answer. The answer is simple — Mary was not a virgin*; thus forfeiting her ability to take a husband and it be righteous — Deuteronomy 22:13.

    Here is the verse in it’s entirety: “Now His mother Mary, having become betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found to be with child out of the Holy Spirit. But Joseph her husband, being righteous and not willing to disgrace her, decided to secretly divorce her…..behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, may you not fear to take Mary your wife…..”

    First……I have never stated that Sex equals Marriage as society understands ‘marriage’. If I had, it would be in the context of this statement: Sexual Intercourse is the ‘marriage’ of two flesh into one flesh. Society should recognize them ‘man and wife’. Society’s failure to do so is not the fault of the Creator.

    We have two things going on here and throughout Scripture. We have “marriage” in how God recognizes it; and we have “marriage” in how man has come to recognize it. Although the Scriptures are certainly inspired, they are still penned by man. Especially “man” prior to Christ’s death. Man was imperfect prior to the cross. As Jesus Himself corrected Moses. He said, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. Now I say to you……”

    So here we have Jesus correcting that which was written and which was considered final. Not so final!

    Let’s take Dinah and Shechem as an illustration of the point — marriage as defined by man; and marriage as defined by God. Shechem and Dinah had sex. Dinah was now ‘one flesh’ with Shechem. The brothers did not recognize Dinah as Shechem’s wife because it was a violation of their custom/tradition. However….and this is a big HOWEVER…..Dinah’s brothers considered her to be DEFILED. What did that mean? The popular belief is that this didn’t mean anything. However, Scripture will reveal that this meant that Dinah could not have a husband apart from Shechem. This is why Jacob wanted to do right and make a “Civil” marriage with Shechem. Their culture did not consider them “husband and wife” as a tribal custom. But they understood that Dinah was now “One Flesh” to Shechem and only DEATH would sever this union/bond. And guess what??? Death always seems to follow. See David and Bathsheba.

    The carnal mind reads this story and says, “Look! You see……the Scriptures say they were not married as a result of sex. So therefore your accusation that sex is marriage is wrong.”

    I do not say that sex is marriage. But what these fools fail to consider and fail to answer, is what it means to be “defiled”. What does it mean to be “One Flesh”? What does it mean to be “Known” by a man. Etc., etc. The lazy man ignores the rest of Scripture as it pertains to sex and marriage. They ignore Genesis 38:8. They also insinuate and assume Jacob and Leah then had a proper marriage ceremony, following their night in the tent. They would have to admit that when Jacob and Leah had sex, they weren’t yet married. They would have to have a “ceremony” first. Nonsense.

    Back to Joseph and Mary. Sam failed to include the first part of the passage in question. Let’s talk Betrothal! Mary was ‘betrothed’ to Joseph. This is really the key to the entire passage. Paul gives us a clue in 2 Corinthians 11:2 —

    “For I have betrothed you to one husband, to present you a chaste virgin….”

    This verse should be enough. Sadly the carnal mind ignores it. I don’t like to include extra Biblical sources; but if one were to research Betrothal you will learn that the betrothal was a “period of waiting”. And some even say that this period was usually 9 months. My guess is that this is a revision to the Law of Deuteronomy 22:13. On the face of it; it does seem rather harsh. If the girl does not bleed, then she is to be stoned. Is this an accurate test? I think not. But….that was the law at the time and it seems the Hebrews revised it. If a girl/wife were to turn up pregnant during the betrothal period………you do the math.

    So here we have to apply interpretation. The Scriptures don’t spell out everything, although Paul does shed light that most just ignore. What did it mean for Mary to have been betrothed to Joseph? I believe it means they were married “civilly” — tribal custom. Just like today. You can go to a courthouse, sign some papers, and the courts deem you husband and wife. But does this make a man and woman ‘husband and wife’ in the Creator’s eyes??? Many would like to believe for the sake of convenience that it does. But are they ONE FLESH? I think not. Is a woman “known” by a man because of a contract? A Vow? Scripture says NO.

    Joseph sought a “divorce”. Therefore, Mary was Joseph’s wife by TRIBAL CUSTOM. Or “tradition of man”. I have no problem recognizing the relevance of “ceremony” or some kind of tradition/custom as to the formality of marriage. And so does the Scripture, as well as Jesus Himself. That being said, it is my assertion that Scripture recognizes that “virginity” is a necessity to any kind of marriage formality/ceremony. And the Scriptures agree with me. This is the crux of the matter. I believe the Scriptures reveal that virginity is a requirement for a girl to have a husband and it be righteous. The scoffers believe sex has nothing to do with it. But yet they can’t provide Scripture which reveals the proper procedures for a valid contract. Who is right? This is the test isn’t it. This is the broad way or the narrow way. This is what Jesus meant when He said, “Strive” to enter.

    conclusion: Joseph and Mary were CIVILLY married. Mary was Joseph’s property by law of man, which the Scripture does not object. So why did he seek a divorce? Simple — Joseph sought a divorce because Mary violated the terms of her Betrothal; which was a violation of the Mosaic law. How do people so easily ignore Deuteronomy 22:13???

    Virginity is absolutely a requirement for a Righteous One Flesh Marital Union.

    The carnal mind never contemplates why the Scriptures speak of Virginity. You cannot find ONE example of a non-virgin woman taking a husband and it be righteous. Not one.

    *Addendum — Someone recently called my ‘faith’ into question by questioning me as to whether I believe Mary to be a virgin or not. As if this would somehow disqualify my content. I find it very revealing how men can be ‘distracted’ from the truth. The content of the statement above is Joseph’s mind at the time he discovered Mary to be not a virgin. I included the verse which implies that Mary was indeed a virgin. So why do I have to actually say that I believe Mary to be a virgin? Rhetorical.

    “Thinking is the Hardest Work”

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